I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dear god my vagina.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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