Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
