at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
