have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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