id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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