just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
