New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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