the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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