Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
we made out on top of his cat.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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