? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
