still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
