thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
