Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
