why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
