Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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