Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Green mimosas i think yes
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
