Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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