Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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