Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I've blown a few things in my day
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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