I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
