like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
