That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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