I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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