I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
