Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
