He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
