is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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