wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
