wat bout pragnant strippers??
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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