you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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