I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
