Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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