you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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