Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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