Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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