So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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