You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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