he shaved USA in his pubs
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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