New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
