Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Two words: blizzard sex
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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