So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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