Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
