we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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