Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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