I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
