Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
