would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
