We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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