You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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