I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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