me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize