chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
