Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have aggressive nipples.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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