All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
