I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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