did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i need some magic done to my vagina
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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