I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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