belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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