there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
ttyl tear gas
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I need a beard to bite.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
