Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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