Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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